The purpose of identifying your behavior style is to help
you be more effective in all relationships.
If you can understand your own preferred way of interacting and reacting, your own behavior becomes more objective. When you realize and embrace the fact that the people around you are not thinking and preferring the same reactions and interactions you are, then you can adjust and understand.
Too often, though, an initial acknowledgement that we each have unique emotional/behavioral wiring can lead to excusing less effective behavior.
A few examples:
- I know I’m bossy. I’m a “D.” Get over it.
- I talk alot. I’m an “I.” You just need to loosen up.
I find that D’s and I’s are the most likely to excuse their behavior. S’s and C’s, it seems, have a more quiet (of course) response. Internalizing their understanding and processing is done more quietly and more systematically. I suspect sometimes they are thinking the same types of thoughts.
- I know I don’t like conflict. So people should just get along with me and not push.
- I know I have high standards. People should be more careful to live up to them.